This excercise still feels very 'wooden' to me. It seems I'm just running "the list" by rote, with no feeling except the desire to do right. I keep expecting to 'feel' something, some release, some softening, something!
Proverbs 16:3 teaches the foundation for "trust and obey".
"Commit thy works unto the LORD, and thy thoughts shall be established."
Well, that's what I'm trying to do, Lord. I do desire to be right with You, and I am, by Your Grace, determined to faithfully seek to release these people. It's noteworthy that King David used the all-caps "LORD", reminding me that my Savior is to be the LORD of my life: my Master, Sovereign, Commander-in-Chief.
I am noticing some positive side effects from the discipline required to keep up this quest. Today, I was working again on a long-standing project with one of the 'offenders'. We've had such contention over it, that I've mostly backed away, but it is still a mutual endeavor. The stiffened body, tight jaw, shallow breathing showed clearly the tension they felt. I was incredulous. Really? I dip my oar in, and you get so tense you can't breathe? The Lord laid His hand on my mouth, helped me defer and back away from spewing the things that so 'need to be said'. After a bit, things relaxed, and a good outcome was achieved.
Thanks Lord, for grace. Let me continue to be 'silent' on my resentments, allowing Spirit's work in my heart and in those of others.