"Who can understand his error? cleanse Thou me from secret faults."
"Keep back Thy servant also from presumptuous sins; let them not have dominion over me: then shall I be upright, and I shall be innocent from the great transgression."
"Let the words of my mouth, and the meditaiton of my heart, be acceptable in Thy sight, O LORD, my Strength, and my Redeemer."
I'm feeling a bit like the proverbial onion here, with layers being peeled back, and eyes increasingly distressed. It's always hard to see ourselves as others do-- as God does. We become masters of rationalization. It's more and more automatic to excuse or discount inappropriate actions or re-actions.
Errors, secret faults, presumptious sins, great transgressions. Isn't that how it goes? A pretty scary progression of (increasingly smelly) layers, used to cover my personal irresponsibility and unbelief. At first, it's just an overreaction to a real or imagined slight. As I blame others' provocation, I grow ever more reluctant to trust God's justice.
Cleanse Thou me, keep me back, reclaim the throne of my heart--eradicate the layers of self-justification. Teach me to not only stop the erroneous spew, but to clean up the stewing heart which feeds it.
Let the meditation of my heart be the righteousness of Your law, the assurance of your justice, the comfort of your word.
As I wait patiently for Your resolution, let my focus be on praising You and Your goodness. Let it lead me--and my offenders--to repentance.